Desi Perkins Explores Latino Beauty In L.A.Skin DeepRefinery29

Im Desi Perkins. Im a social media influencer. I make beauty tutorials on YouTube, fashion videos, lifestyle. I grew up in LA and Im Mexican-American.

Today Im going to be going around LA. To dig a little deeper into my Mexican culture and really show that beauty is more than just skin deep. The first stop is El Mercado and this is located in the thriving Latino community of Boyle Heights. Here Im meeting Jesse Tapia, a local, to show me around.

Hi! Im Desi. Im Jesse. Nice to meet you. So excited to show you Al Mercadito today.


Me too. Before we get started, I have one quick spot to show you. Alright, lets go. Great.

Lets go. So this mural, basically everyone that comes visit Al Mercadito comes and prays to her. They bring her flowers. They bring her candles.

This is always kind of an either first stop or a last stop. Its beautiful. Lets go check out the market. I love Mexican candy.

Its the best. Have you tried the coco one? Its really good. These are called sages. You turn them on.

Its basically to cleanse your house. All the bad spirits will go away. Oh yeah, girl. I have definitely seen that in my day.

My mom and my aunt are always cleansing new houses. Nobody wants evil spirits. No. Right.

Jesse showed me around the market. I got to relive my memories. We had drinks that reminded me of memories growing up in Mexico. Just like how I remembered it.

Its really good. Mmhmm. Its really, really good. Its so weird having these again.

Its been so long. I think the last time I was 15. Wow. Yeah.

But what really caught my eye was a store that sold natural Mexican remedies. Hi Im Desi. Nice to meet you.
Hi.

Nice to meet you. Hi Im Jesse. Nice meeting you. Im really into skin care and so I wanted to see if you had any good remedies for me.

For the teeth we have the charcoal, which also has other plants in there. Its a wonderful remedy to make your teeth very healthy. And you make all of these? Yes. I use them all.

I prepare them all. So they are all natural. You have beautiful skin so I can see that. Thank you.

And we make a deodorant. A natural deodorant. Which is also made from a stone and is free of any radicals, chemicals. Its call alumbre.

Would you like to try it? I do. I need to. Its hot outside. Yeah.

It does smell really fresh. Exactly. But clean. You know, just in case.

Im going to have to put it to the test today and make sure I dont stink later. Thank you. You are very welcome. Im going to take this.

Okay. To dive deeper, Jesse sent me to the next stop of the day. Herbs of Mexico is another Boyle Heights institution. Its an herb and wellness store that originated in the 60s and still serves the community today.

Buenas dias! Im Desi. Jade. Nice to meet you.
Its nice to meet you.

I met up with herbal specialist, Jade Lopez, to further explore traditional Mexican remedies. Is there a mask that you would like to make? Definitely. I would love to learn. Lets do it.

So heres what I have for us today. Bentonite clay, its also known as Aztec clay. The herb that I recommend that you use for dark spots is gonna be tepezcohuite. This is a tried and true Mexican herb for burns, for scarring, for reducing blotchiness, and discoloration in general.

So this is a magic herb.
Ooh. I like that. I never use teaspoons or tablespoons.

Thats how old Mexicans do it. Thats the abuela way. They dont even own measuring cups. And then you can add any essential oil, but the oil thats going to be most important is probably like an emollient oil like almond oil, jojoba, olive oil.

But I think Im going to use the moringa oil because this is also another amazing herb thats used for everything from skin care, balancing sugar levels. A lot of people just take it as their daily superfood. And youre just going to do a thin layer like that all over your face. And this is really great for blackheads...

Ooh yes. ...Skin discoloration. Wait for it to dry and then wash it off with warm water. And its a natural exfoliant.

Can I take these? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. Bye! Another big trend in the beauty world, especially in Latin America, is permanent makeup or micropigmenting, which is the process of tattooing semi-permanent makeup on your face. Elite Permanent Makeup Center is leading the industry in permanent makeup.

So I met up with specialist, Shunashy Jimenez, to learn more. So permanent makeup has definitely been around for a very long time. Now its having a bit of a resurgence where people are more so looking to get it done but more on the natural end of the spectrum. Whereas before it was more of the old school style where you could tell it was permanent makeup.


Oh yeah. Ive seen some brows. Really thin, kind of Sharpie-looking brows. So what kind of permanent makeup are people doing exactly now? What are all the options? So right now the most common one is microblading.

Microblading for sure. The lips. The lips, definitely. So lipliner or...? The full lip actually.

And I feel like, especially in Latin America, we love our liner and we love our brows. So its definitely becoming really popular in a lot of cultures, but definitely in the more kind of Hispanic, Latin American culture. I, myself for example, am Mexican. So I actually have my brows, my eyes, and my lips done.

And my mom, she has it all done also. Brows, eyes, lips too.
Oh yeah. My aunts too.

Yeah. We can actually go watch the owner do one right now. Oh yes! We have to. Lets do it.

Lets go see that. Okay so were going to go ahead and were going to introduce you to the owner, Mahnaz. Hi.
Hi.

Im Desi. NIce to meet you. Alright so how does this work? What do you use to do it? We use this digital cartridge machine. This is the color she chose.

Ooh nice. This is all disposable. Its really safe. This is the machine and this is the needle.

Are you nervous? I hope it doesnt hurt. No its not going to hurt. I feel nervous just watching this. Its about to start.

Ready? Im going to start from the bottom of the lips because she doesnt want any line or any lipliner. She wants just natural-looking like everything blended. Is it painful? (Disagrees) Its not painful. It actually ended up looking really relaxing.

So how long does this last, the tattoo? It lasts for a couple of years. It depends on the skin. On some skin, it fades faster. And on some skin, it stays longer but it depends on how she takes care of it.

Oh my god! It looks so good! Wow. And it does look natural. You have really flushed lips. So did it hurt? No.

I just felt a vibration. I could feel the machine. But no, it was super numb. Oh it looks really good.

So pretty. Wow. Thats incredible. Really cool.

For the last stop of the day, Im visiting celebrity makeup artist, Andre Sarmiento, to talk to me more about the impact of Latinas and beauty. Hi Desi! How are you, honey?
Hi! Im excited to play with makeup today. I know. Thank you for coming today.

Andres work has been featured in the pages of Elle, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and Vogue. Im seeing a lot of Latina-owned brands here. Yes, exactly. That is our focus today.

Since you brought your lovely makeup, I figured it would be great to explore other brands that have been created by other Latina entrepreneurs such as yourself. So lets play with some eyes. Lets play a bit with your palette. This is exciting.

Wow that is gorgeous. Yeah I actually created this with my best friend, Katy. Another Latina. Yeah shes also a Latina.

I heard that you were a big Selena fan. And I happen to have some of the collection here with me today for us to play with.
Yay! Selena from Mac. Also it's really amazing that her legacy continues on in beauty and since beauty is such a big thing today, its just so cool that her name gets to be part of something thats so huge.

Yeah and I feel like she was such a strong influence for a lot of women growing up, a lot of Mexican-American women especially. Im Mexican-American and she was the ideal beauty for me. She gave me more confidence to be proud to be Mexican-American. I feel like thats such a good thing because she really broke through.

She did. And it makes me sad and I dont even want to. I know I cant even use it. I have it and I dont even want to use it but Im going to tap the edge over here because I dont want to brush over Selena at all.

I know it hurts kind of, right? Being Latina, especially my skin tone, I feel like its really hard to find foundation shades that have that really olive undertone. Our whole collection, we wanted to make sure anywhere from really fair to really deep skin tones can wear it. Yeah thats so smart. Its hard to kind of get that nuance, that subtlety.

They may not always have the thing we need. But we have to try this amazing highlighter of yours called Fuego. Fuego! You know I had to hit em with some Spanish pigment. Yes.

You had to. This is amazing. Gorgeous! Wow. This one is called More Creamer Please.

Wow that is gorgeous. And then Im actually going to take a little bit of this Nuance Firming Day and Night Cream, which is by Selma Hayek. And Im actually just going to use it just to amp up this highlight a little bit in a natural kind of way. Its nice to kind of touch up this area with a little bit of moisture.

Alright, so were finished playing with these products. Lets take a look. See how you feel. Oh I love the lip.

I love how you added that little sheer. Just a little tint. Mmhmm. It was a blast and I hope we can do it again.

Thank you for doing my makeup. You look amazing. Thank you, thank you. Well all thanks to you.

After a long day on the streets of LA, it was really nice to just see what a strong bond our community has. From the market to the permanent makeup center to meeting with Andre, I feel we all just have this really strong connection and bond. Im really happy I got to meet all of these people along the way. And that they share with me a pride in their Latin identity.

Thank you guys so much for watching. To subscribe to Refinery29, click here. And to watch more videos, click here..

Beauty Is In The Eyes Of The Beholder

For the ones of you historical satisfactory to be acutely unsleeping Flip Wilson, you'd be acutely unsleeping a persona of his, Geraldine. Geraldine is sought after as "a a lot proper-cracking wise-ass with an unseen boyfriend named Killer." One of Geraldine's favorite sayings changed into, "Beauty is inside the attention of the beholder, and also you certainly ain't beholdin' now now not brand new satisfactory." I miss Geraldine. There is wisdom during this line of Geraldine's, highly for now when we are so passionate about physical cosmetic.

Our era might basically also smartly be spending added fee on weight reduction, plastic surgical operation, botox, liposuction and spas than ever previously. Anorexia and bulimia aren't exclusive diseases anymore and are being viewed in teenagers as younger as 10 years historical. Women (and males) will take weight reduction tablets on the danger of debilitating edge certainly and/or dying. Billions of dollars are spent yearly on skincare, make-up, self-care products, and fragrance. We parade our infant girls circular on factor, dressed like hookers and plastered with make-up that a individual thinks makes them glance enticing. We train them to strut, pout, pucker, and grin all inside the hopes that they'll win a cosmetic contest in trade for their innocence and their formative years.

(This changed into added residing inside the brand new day movie, Little Miss Sunshine).But is genuine cosmetic fully physical?Quite slightly a few years ago I knew a female whose physical components didn't positioned her on the general of the "I am the optimal enticing listing." Her weight and physique length had been immoderate-a lot proper high quality with out reference to this her face necessary slightly a few assistance - I principle. This changed into my first affect. She changed into a pacesetter of patterns, incessantly in front of the vicinity and I felt sorry for her. (I've realized since then to drop the judgment. I wish I had seemed to test out this sooner). Then I started off to get to realise her. She changed into considered one of many a very hard kindest, sweetest, optimal genuine persons I have ever met (and that stands true these 20 slightly a few years later). She changed into the 1st on the scene if a individual changed into in venture, or there changed into a dying inside the very own family.

And she wasn't certainly there, she changed into supporting in a proficient and compassionate methodology. She changed into invariably capable of reward, inspire, and video display knowledge. She changed into an fair public speaker and had an highly a lot proper hunting making a music voice as smartly. She optimal every so in most cases invariably had a grin and had an air of thriller of joy that looked to make her glow from the indoors out. She had the full problems with out reference to this an highly a lot proper hunting face. It's bizarre, with out reference to the incontrovertible verifiable fact that, how that reworked. As I acquired to realise her extra applicable and bigger I viewed less and less about her physical visual charm and quick of back she is with out doubt considered one of many a very hard optimal enticing folk I have ever seemed. Her interior cosmetic shines out - the genuine unbelievable factor about who she is and the methodology she conducts her life makes her extra enticing than preferrred facial components ever might basically also.

The Lindsey Lohans and Paris Hiltons of the international ought to take constructions from her. They have each talent because of methodology of physical cosmetic and financial functionality to have the full problems they'd like to protect themselves. Neither can get started off to tournament the cosmetic that shines out from ladies like my enjoyed one.It is higher. Beauty is inside the eyes of the beholder. I certainly wasn't beholdin' now now not brand new satisfactory.

Beauty Busters Poop or Woop WEIRD GIRL GADGETS!

Hello there and welcome to beauty busters where we test out internet beauty and products to see if their poop-poop Or maybe baby meaning they may work for some people and may not work for other people I'm so excited for this beauty busters if you knew BD busters make sure you have a huge thumbs up I get a lot of requests for view Busters But I almost never know what to do so if there's anything any type of product or really cool Gadget or hack that you guys want me to test out either comment below Or tweet me at Natalie's outlet or Instagram me either one I would love to know hey guys, so I just launched my first project outside of YouTube hashtag viral my podcast Oh my god. You guys honestly have been so supported. We topped charts number one on Apple podcast. I'm like this just so excited Thank you guys so much problem.

Love for all the support I'm gonna be interviewing your favorite creators celebrities interviewing them on how they built a business around doing what you're watching right now this a video So make sure you go subscribe right now to become hashtag viral I'm gonna leave the link down below and the first episode was Alisha Marie One of my favorite so if you want to check it out everything will be down below And if you don't have an iPhone no worries We're also available on Spotify and Google Play so definitely check out those links will be down But no show your love and support, and if you definitely enjoy it Please leave me a review letting me know what you think also I'm so curious to know since I will be interviewing some of the top digital creators and celebrities I want to know who do you want to see next comment below so that we can get them on hashtag? Viral hold up today is an exciting day because I am announcing the winner for the YouTube This is going home to one of you, are you ready here who the winner is drumroll, please And the winner is Kaylee Singler Congratulations girl. Thank you so much for loving and supporting this channel But if you did not win no worries the next giveaway will be announced in the next video I challenge you guys to get this video to 250,000 thumbs up because you never know I might even give away something better in the next video I dare you guys to turn this 10 list by clicking below and hitting that thumbs up I want to give a huge shout out to Paige for watching my videos Thank you so much virtual hug So if you want a shout out in my next video all you have to do is become part of the notification squad So how do you become a part of an application squad super easy just? Sure you subscribe to this channel by clicking subscribe and don't forget to turn on post notifications By clicking on that little bell right there you see it click it Yep, and once you do this two things just comment below a hashtag notification squad, and I will be choosing one of you That's it that easy. Also. Don't forget.

I post new videos every Wednesday and Saturday, and I love you guys so much I'm always interacting with you guys on Twitter and Instagram so stay tuned for more updates on something very special happening on there Let's get onto the video Cuz walking by the Connors at CBS. And I saw all these really weird like little goodies like Actually weird things that I haven't seen before and I'm like okay. This could be lifesavers lifesavers The first one is the deodorant removing sponge it claims to be a sponge that removes deodorant from Blackshirt How many of you guys struggle with it on your deodorant taking off your shirt putting it back on and then it's like it's all Over the place it's not cute the packaging mentions that no water is required which seems pretty amazing I'm curious if there's a scent to this it says remove Deodorant marks head hair makeup powder dirt dust lint and road salt. We're gonna check it out.

See what it feels like oh It smells nice. It's a sponge just like this. It is a little bit of a thicker sponge It doesn't feel like a dish sponge at all. It's actually kind of nice and therapeutic I guess since it claims that it removes dog hairs.

I'm gonna go and hug my dog I actually have a beautiful golden retriever right here, and as you may know goes a retriever shed like crazy I happen to have some hairs zoom in there's always hairs on me Oh my god, but I love my dogs all right. We got a hair rod there Okay, it works kind of like a lint roller the only thing I'm seeing is that it's just taking the hairs to another side as opposed to picking them up Oh, I see a hair stuck on there. Oh my god. Okay.

Let's see oh It's actually nothing okay Okay, no this is working. I like that look at all that little lint and stuff Beautiful on it beautiful Okay clearly with the pet hair it was pretty good. I wouldn't say like I don't know I kind of prefer just a lint roller this works pretty fine But I'm really curious when it comes to deodorant mark so I have a black shirt right here full of deodorant marks and we're gonna test it out to see if this is a poop a Whoop, or um a baby mini may work for some people and it may not work for other people alright, so Dennis I asked him to go put on a shirt put on some deuteron and then take the black shirt off your deodorant my Deodorant, but I would never like this is over this ha oh my god You guys, I'm sorry you have to witness this nastiness what on earth Hmm, this is over. The top because it is over the top we're gonna test it out Just to see if it really does work.

Okay ready this is just testing up all right, so I'm wearing my you two sure and Look at that. This is a reality to the realness of what happens when you put on a black shirt We're gonna test this out Let me see if there's actually any instruction So you don't have to wet this briskly rub residue from your clothing with Hollywood deodorant removing sponge No need to use water here we go So it's removing How hard you have to press is the question cuz you know I? Usually just grab a makeup removing wipe and I just kind of Pat it down And then oh just get dry that's not too wet and that usually works just fine I still would not go out like this. What do you think handsome? I think? I say this is a poo I could do the same thing with just water and a tissue. You can probably probably with your hand Sorry guys you let me know down below what you guys think don't forget new episodes drop every single Friday and stick to the end To see a little clue on who the next guest may be alright for those of you that wear heels How many of you can relate to your heels getting stuck on grass it is terrible you literally sink? It is the most uncomfortable thing ever but I came across this soulmate high heel, or heel protector which pretty much is clear But it prevents your heels from sinking into the grass which is genius Oh my gosh, so the directions for you say to twist the product onto your heels so that the word soulmates faces back I guess they want to do some free promotion there They also recommend using this if you're gonna be walking on bricks on grates and teak floors woven carpets wooden decks blue shell seats So the packaging is really cute.

They showcase on grass. You know what could happen so when you pop these out It'll look kind of like ice cubes little ice cubes like that There are very firms and actually pretty nice quality one concern that actually Dennis brought up Is that what if this damages the heel or scrapes the heel what if you're wearing some really expensive heels? And then you're putting that in and it happens to scrape it does have little ridges on the side like that it can be a Little concerning, but for a shoe lover, but let's test them up This is how you're supposed to apply it on do I want to use these shoes. These are nice Okay, no it didn't scratch okay Well looks really ugly But I do have to say you know if you're on the grass if you have like a longer dress I know for my sister's wedding I was literally sinking on the grass, so this would have helped a lot who cares I mean no actually I care I care if it's stylish or not when it's a matter of grass sinking or not grass sinking I'd rather not think so let's try them out I tested this out and without the heel. It was me trampling all over falling sinking.

It. Just wasn't good. It's pretty much What you guys experienced if you go on grass when you're wearing really pointing heels now with the actual device I think it was amazing. I wasn't thinking I could run I could play with my dog.

However I? Don't understand There's a little chip right here That I believe was not there before so what I will say is this is amazing if you're just gonna walk don't run Like I was running I think that's what might have happened and just be aware that this may damage your shoes especially if they're really good shoes Yeah, just be careful. Don't use this on really expensive shoes But this is great like if you're gonna go to a barbecue you're gonna wear some shoes I don't know why you would wear heels at a barbecue But maybe you do you I would have loved to have this on my sister's wedding because I was literally sinking all over the place So I say this is a maybe baby. It's at your own caution. I would definitely try this out again Just know with these type of shoes.

Let me know down below in the comments what you guys think Is it just me or did this one Bend? Oh my god? Well this product when I saw it I was like this might be for me because my hair I swear to you. I wash it and then the next day It's just like a grease ball. It's like Dripping with my hair it tends to get really oily really quickly so when I saw this I was like this is amazing this is a dry shampoo pen which is Amazing like can you imagine just taking this around on your little first taking it out spring it on without having to take a huge Dry shampoo pan I've never seen anything like this says it instantly refreshes and boosts body in all hair types so pretty much It's just a little dry shampoo little travel-size bad baby stands the real woman mmm delicious This says that has no parabens or no ball fights, which is amazing for hair I know my hair started to grow literally when I got that out. Oh, that's nozzle little ant okay It's not as scary with this right here I don't know just be sure you guys that when you use something like this an aerosol Can you are not close to fire to a candle to anything and I mean that in all seriousness? It smells old I don't know it smells like cheap and like kind of old I.

Wonder if it turns white Look at that. It's like translucent. This is better on the hair Check out this side and now I'm gonna volumize it Alright you guys. I feel like I have more volume.

It's cute The smell like I said not 100% my favorite But it doesn't bother if I'm really in a hurry and all I need is my hair to look decent I won't care about smell. It's not terrible it isn't smell Expensive, but check it out. It worked. I actually really like this I'm definitely gonna put this in my purse take it anywhere.

I go. Don't use her on fire. This is a total Let me know down below in the comments what you guys think So yesterday, I was just like cruising CVS or maybe Walgreens, I don't recall but I saw this and my jaw literally dropped Do you see this this is a? Gigantic Beauty Blender literally says oversized blending sponge Not mate with nap the point edge is ideal for detailed precision basically. This is amazing for Foundation tanning lotion body bronzers to cover all areas of your body.

It's actually quite nice You know you don't have to just use this on your face you can use this if you hand or Maybe for just a little bit of contour or directions use dry sponge for normal coverage. You slightly moistened sponge for sheer coverage Oh nice, so you can actually use this dry Wow gigantic Gigantic if I had another Beauty Blender a typical Beauty Blender is probably like this sighs This is humongous if we do wet it. It's gonna be so large looks as big as my palm I'm actually gonna use this as a little bronzer. I'm gonna go like this bronze it up I think that would be ideal for this as I've realized that my bronzer always looks best when I have a large brush love this bronzer You can fake people that you've gone to the beach the pool, but you've really just been a vampire in your room watching Netflix black because then you don't really see it's dirty.

I'm all about that stuff guys I prefer to use a brush rather than something like this, and I apply my bronzer But I think this is ideal for someone that tans and you just want to get all of that all over the place I like It though look it's not that bad I Say, this is a whoop. I really like this. I think the fact that it's like really gigantic is amazing It looks just like a sponge it's nice and soft It's not too hard so it's nice, and you know compact feels like a good decent Beauty Blender even though It's not even a Beauty Blender So it's pretty cheap and at your local CVS or Walgreens the clue for the next viral guest is slime Comment below if you know who that is whoa is that new make sure you go and subscribe to my new podcast hashtag viral new episodes drop every single Friday Don't forget our last interview was with Alicia Marie so make sure you go and give it some love and don't forget to subscribe also Check out my last video right over here buck clicking on it and subscribe to my face right over here Goodsoon a thumbs up if you enjoyed it. I want to wish you guys an amazing day.

Don't forget to live weird or die normal.

Beauty Busters Poop or Woop DIY Beauty Myths Tested!

Hello there I'm Natalie and welcome to Beauty Buster's Where we test out internet beauty and DIYs to see if their poop a whoop or maybe baby meaning they may work for some people and they may not work for other people today is a very special Episode because we have testing out old school remedies we're not just putting to the test like regular Beauty hacks were going back to the dizzay And we are testing out crazy things like really cold showers oatmeal bath brushing your teeth with charcoal Putting your feet in Listerine Eating yogurt for bad breath things are wild and I put them to the test with you, but before that I want to give a huge shout-out to Underscore sajjea underscore and star, it's mama. It's even miss Margaret Mar lazy girl each week I'll be giving lots of shout outs to you guys, so all you have to do is make sure you're part of the family You're subscribed you have post notifications turned on and all you have to do is take a screenshot and DM me on my Instagram Which is right here? Or Twitter, and that's it. I'll feature a ton of you guys in my next video I challenge you guys to get this video to 200,000 thumbs up from beauty busters go down and punch that button Let's see if we can meet our goal First thing we put to the test was charcoal Capsules so this has been kind of like a beauty myth that I've seen go around for years some people believe that activated charcoal can assist With teeth whitening and it's said to be like a bleaching agent I don't know. It's pretty pretty dark charcoal is known for removing stains like coffee wine tea anything that is yellow on the teeth so the first step is to break a little tablet I use some activated charcoal tablets, and then you can add water like about a teaspoon i think something this dark And let me tell you guys this gets so messy, it's crazy this got everywhere oh my God look at that That's inside my gums.

It kind of feels like chalk you could pretty much paint with this man I think you could do eyeliner with this think I said that it smelled like Dijon mustard it smells like Dijon mustard What do you guys think do my teeth look any whiter I? Do like how this is like a natural remedy? If don't use this so often because this can also damage your consult with your local dentist yoghurt yoghurt Oh, how I hate the yoghurt yoghurt was used as an old remedy to relieve breath Supposedly researchers have said that six ounces of yogurt can help reduce odors for me. This was a struggle Let me tell you why first of all six Ounces that is a lot. I dentist test out the smell in my mouth once I ate this cracker and boy was he It was time to eat the yogurt, oh let me just tell it you took before ever Played I got like plain yogurt didn't realize I would have to eat it It wasn't that delicious it took me a good 40 minutes to eat this yogurt No dang six ounces of yogurt you know a good package wash it up, baby use some loose treat Then Dennis smell my breath again, and I just think the cracker outweighed the yogurt at one It was just replaced by yogurt I didn't enjoy I think this is a poop And now for this week's viral cycler. You don't know I have a podcast new episodes dropping every single Friday this week We have a very special guest in a car Do you want to listen make sure you go down below to the description this podcast is available on Apple podcast modify and anywhere else? That
Podcasts are revealed so go and subscribe give it a five star rating if you like what you hear and definitely comment below who else You'd like to see on the podcast and I'll make it happen Listerine for your feet why? Listerine has actually been used for battling fungi band stink and bad odor or your feet also the itchiness of your feet I don't have any of these problems But I was like what the heck that is and I were like let's just go ham I ended up buying like seven or six Different types and Listerine colors we went crazy with it Stanky breath before Listerine into some lukewarm water in like a little Bowl or something like that.

We got it large bowl Cuz we wanted to go big or go home Leave a comment letting me know what color this pool of water will turn into Camera wait one of us for all your love and support to show your love and support by subscribing to this channel And turning on the post notifications, and if you do those two things comment down below #natificationsquad   You're supposed to let your feet sit for 30 minutes And you're supposed to dry and use a towel moisturizer at all cost it was so refreshing Then we just kept adding more play more kind more clearly you do not need this much in the beginning Honestly my feet were like for the first time ever breathing like I felt like oh My feel really good, and then all of a sudden. It's like Oh my god, it's burning. It stings you guys not to mention my legs were hairy before this video And you know I miss panic. I'm hairy and I.

Didn't for you guys so make sure you subscribe for notifications on after doing this we didn't actually capture this on film my feet felt so Soft really nice and smooth Dennis, and I ended up going out for ice cream, and we took Jupiter with us Then something happened to me in the car I'm feeling like and then I was remembering Oh avoid socks at all cost also Moisturize took off my socks my feet felt like plastic they were so dry they were hurting oh god I just I don't like the feeling it was not good. It was not friendly feeders Yuto's overall, this is not a good experience. I just thought like this was a really funny. Maybe if you moisture I really do have that order.

Let's melis baby. Oh my god. They smell like mystery Venus. Hey guys.

This is a maybe, baby I would say this actually helps with odor but it is painful and make sure you don't wear socks after And moisturize yo feet leave me a comment if you would do this alright you guys It's time for above oh no an oatmeal bath Where you actually get oatmeal you throw it in your tub you mix it all up in there and then? I've actually done this before because I have had a long record of very severe eczema all over my body It was so bad to the point where my parents had to take me to the hospital My skin has always been dry it's been very sensitive So this is one of these things that you guys can actually try out if your skin is extremely Itchy there are actually lots of known benefits It's meant to really dry itchy skin sensitive skin minor skin irritations people with eczema How are we gonna get this out it felt amazing? Did it look amazing but it felt so good? It's supposed to create like this a milkiness oatmeal was kind of like this exfoliation the whole tub was just like really nice and soft and Really bad part about this is your bath will get so dirty, and it has hatchling bug. Oh meal out overall I say this is a poop try it out and let me know and then tag me hashtag now these outlet Beauty hats Cold showers, oh how I love cold showers has been a Phenomenal now on the in business, but for mindset for people that want to get going in the day so there are a ton of actual benefits to cold shower according to the interwebs and researchers and stares and Scientists cold showers can help with song make you happier They can make you more alert they can clear your mind They can strengthen your immune system And they can also help out with circulation so an inch In fact is when you take a hot shower all of the blood flow flows away from your organ But when you take a cold shower all that blood goes into your organ helping your body function better Now you know what are the downfalls of cold showers? They're uncomfortable, they're cold. They make you shiver. I got in there.

I was like The guy was like My mind at that moment was not clear I was forgetting how to breathe my body was creating like this a C-shape where these were my legs my stomach my chest and my face we're trying to avoid the shower But then I was just going in this And then there is a moment of like exhilaration and happiness and I was like The type of person that would put the shower cold it was always matte top But this has made me feel so good so happy solar so productive Company I encourage you and I challenge you to try it out because it elevates your mood That's the best part like you're happier. It was it painful. Yes. What is it? Enjoyable for like those? You know quick 5 minutes 3 minutes that I'm in there.

No. It's not really enjoyable There's been a lot of studies about this at the most successful people do it you will their most productive clear-minded? Happier, and so I challenge you keep me posted on Instagram and Twitter how you feel about it, which of these beauty hacks Did you enjoy the most was the craziest the weirdest the one you would actually try and leave me a comment down below if you? Enjoyed this video as always make sure you give a huge thumbs up check out my last video right over here where I show you Some pretty cute hacks subscribe right over here by clicking on my face, and I'll always find me on Instagram and Twitter Which you can find down below got the last hashtag viral episode with Hannah Hart such a girl boss here So make sure he has a little bell turned on I want to wish you an amazing day Don't forget to live wierd or die normal. Bye.

Beauty Busters Poop or Woop 5 STAR SEPHORA MAKEUP! Natalies Outlet

Pigmented Hello there and welcome to beauty busters where we test out Internet bTW to see if it's a poop a woop or a maybe baby meaning it may work for some people and it may not work for other people today I'm excited today would be testing the top rated makeup Pigmented , oh OK.  Hello and welcome to beauty busters where we test out Internet beauty products to see if it's a poop a woop or a maybe baby meaning it may work for some people and it may not work for other people. Today I'm excited Products apps of aura personally going to Sephora can be so overwhelming for me so many different product of a pretty minimalistic person when it comes to makeup, but I still like to try every once in a while But they makeup better be worth my money, and I have to say no matter What even if it's like sephora favorites or they're like this is the hot new? Product I got trust issues and because I don't trust no one we're gonna be putting these to the test if you're a newbie or If you're makeup junkie, or if you've just been looking for that hot new product And you're like should I spend my hard-earned money on that product. We're gonna be testing the most popular yet top-rated products We shall see are they a poop are they a whoop or are they a maybe, baby? Make sure you guys connect with me on Instagram and Twitter if you haven't already because I ask you guys every single week What you want to see next on vida Busters? And you know you might sway my opinion so check it out if you haven't subscribe make sure you subscribe and hit that notification I'm currently doing a huge giveaway.

I'm doing iPhone 8 and $500 and gone gift cards if you do that you're automatically entered into the giveaway of care you guys ready, I'm ready Let's do this so starting off at the base of the face We are gonna be using in this Smashbox photo finish foundation primer. It's supposedly like the number one primer in Smashbox like entire thing It's oil free people just say it looks flawless. I'm gonna be reading some reviews this retails for $36 it has over 6000 reviews It's almost a 5 and 160,000 loves it claims that it's good for sensitive dry combination Oily normal skin like literally we got them all here some people are saying that it's absolutely amazing They don't even use that much makeup And they just use it as like a little primer all over the face not super blurring But it's better than that people are saying it covers pores, and it keeps makeup on the whole day And this is the best primer I have ever used. Let's test it out.

I don't know we shall see this is pretty It's like kind of satisfying to do this I love how primer feels if my face felt like this all the time like little babies, but I wouldn't enjoy that I. Like the smell it's nice I. Don't know the lasting power on this, but so far. It's um, maybe baby I mean like it forth um they shown what I'm going to be using the Fendi Beauty man this brand right here diversity That's what it represents, and I am diverse colombian-american, you know I'm saying cool thing about this is it's a very new product, but yet people are They have like over forty shades, which is insane in the membrane.

I can't even mine is in the shade three hundred I hope this is my color It's a medium coverage foundation Which I want to cover it all the matte finish Soft matte to pull it up the people are saying some people are saying best foundation ever oh my god This is the best. I have really oily skin in my makeup look rate from 10 a.M.. To 8 p.M. Like for myself, I'm such a hollow curl and literally I can't find a match I have to make so many foundations, and I'm just not about that so you know they have a bunch of different colors love love love I love this foundation But it isn't the most intuitive product to apply the majority of comments are very very positive about this foundation Now I'm now gonna apply this on with Beauty Blender because I always find that my foundation Gets a little more sheer than I would like I think of a full coverage kind of gal.

I don't know yet Definitely a lot sure then I like my foundations, but it's not bad It's a very natural finish Which I like Bravo to Rihanna for coming out with so many different shades like that is brave move girl, and I'm loving it I'm all about it little light for my forehead. I got a dart for head guys. It's a little light I think my brush is this dirty I. Would like to say that my skin looks very very nice.

I have super dry skin And I feel like it's setting very very nicely on my skin It looks really good right now But I'll let you guys know towards and what I think like where are the final thoughts on this the next product is so pretty This is the Bobbi Brown Skin Foundation sticks just elegant man This is in the color element 7 Roxana Risa on YouTube actually mentioned. How she loves this product She's similar to my complexion so that's why I got this color this has over a thousand and 30 reviews 40,000 loves a variety of different colors But I like 26 different shades of this which is amazing it says that it could be sheer medium or full coverage I'm going to be using this as a foundation stick per say I'm going to be using this as a form of contouring my face People are saying wow I have been shopping for months for a new foundation after going through a horrible winter with numerous skin issues and finally a real winner this does retailed for $46 that's expensive. It's pricey. It's expensive.

Holy Grail your skin, but better simply the best color range Amazing so easy to apply and doesn't show any blemishes or lines at all. I'm gonna apply this right here It's a little buttery and it's a little waxy at the same time not a bad way But that's just what it feels like I'm gonna be using the artiste oval and six You can definitely see that this probably goes a long way, and we gonna have to blend for a little bit But it's not difficult at all to blend oh Yeah, yeah, I don't know if this dried out really fast, or if it's just not blending very good But it's looking a little crazy. I don't find it that easy to blend. I'm just changing up the brush for a little bit Yikes alright, you know what in the end just going with your beauty blender and blend it out To me personally it's a little bit waxy I don't know and explain But it's not like as buttery smooth as some other foundation sticks or anything that I've used sticks to a Beautyblender I'm using the Real Techniques one.

I don't know how to feel about this fun little Or concealer I have heard so many people rave about this product or 8117 reviews and 490,000 loves, so this is the NARS radiant creamy concealer, and I have mine in the color, honey You know price point it's not a drug store It's like 30 bucks kind of expensive, but if it's worth it then it's worth it I will say comments the best one of the best concealers I've ever tried perfect like texture yet gives great full coverage one of my absolute favorite concealers But it creases on me like crazy No matter what I do setting with a powder helps lightly so that's something to keep in mind But this is an amazing product work. Well to make me look like I hadn't had the flu for the past three days I don't sleep so this better work too little bit. I don't like the applicator It's really really hard TIFF man. Is usually why I do cuz I have like a lot of darkness under here.

I'm like really tan Blend out like a dream. It's super quick The only thing I would say so far It doesn't seem to be full coverage it claims that it's a medium to full coverage But I would say like I'm still seeing a little bit of peek through right in there It definitely feels like there's a little bit of a stick to it, which makes me feel like it's gonna last all day. I'm looking Illuminated honey for loose powder we're gonna be using the Laura Mercier Marcia Marcia Marcia mercy the Laura Mercier translucent loose setting powder I've heard so many people rave about this on YouTube over five thousand four hundred twenty six reviews and four hundred thirty thousand who loves it claims that it has a very nice silky smooth coverage which Damn, that's nice best I have had best powder if you want a powder that will set your makeup for the whole day and make your skin look poreless Then this is the one to buy This is the one you just gotta buy it and feel like a blessed queen yes girl comments outside What's look? Oh, my god? Yes, it's so finely milled feels really good Like that that's what it feels like it's so good at explaining things It's so nice and fine Billy doesn't feel like it's drying up my skin at all It feels like it's covering it up in a very nice way like it's setting it. You know Man the combination of this with this right now Holy Grail ish like it looks so pretty so so nice next for blush i'm gonna be using tartes Amazonian clay 12-hour blush I don't know if I've ever wanted a blush to really like stay on for 12 hours I mean I guess why not I don't think I'm much of like a blush girl But this looked really really beautiful this has over 4,000 reviews almost a 5 that says something 230,000 loves This is the color called captivating this was recommended by one of the workers at Sephora and
also This was one of the ones that was almost sold out like there was just one little itsy bitsy left in the back somebody put Expose color is perfect.

I'm in love with Tarte lately. I have tried one of these before but it dried up Okay, so it definitely picks up product like real quick girl pigmented Very very pretty very pigmented like with tan skin not a lot sticks, but you can just tell That's nice, you know I'm saying Stop You guys think let me know what I will comment you know what I think what this product I saw it I saw it on and I said I need you in my This is Fanta beauties highlighter and trophy wife and it is beautiful I don't think I would have worn this or even gravitated towards it if I hadn't seen it on her skin She's very similar to my skin color like a very yellowy tan collar. It looks gorgeous on her I have her that this particular color is more flattering on medium to tan or skin tones darker skin tones as opposed to like a More fair. This is a very new product.

It has over a thousand reviews. It's literally a five-star 120,000 loves people are clearly loving it it claims that it's like where you want it But you can definitely build it up trophy wife use it right and get your life blah blah blah y'all I am shook by this highlighter, so this person says that they have a very light skin They're skeptical about buying it, but then for their birthday. They use date. They mess around with it and that it was gorgeous absolutely amazing Funny, I just died and went to heaven use a little fan Brush because I have tried this product with let's say like a morphe and 509 something similar to that It's very intense.

You could build it up you see how like nice and soft that is now Do you guys want to see it full blast? Why not let's do this Do you see that am I binding you? Do you want to shave right now? It's really gorgeous, I will put this right here, I'm not afraid I will put this on the tippy tippy tippy so my news I'm not afraid. I will put this right here. I am Not Afraid I wanted to wait till then to let you know what I thought about this, but I think it's quite clear Whoop-whoop, this is a whoop Just for you just for you guys Like can you just imagine that with like a little gloss? Before I rose, I'm gonna be using benefits precisely my brow pencil my thing with this one is do you see that it's Precise honey sometimes. I just feel like I'm in such a hurry when I do my brows.

Yeah, I'm just like And the thicker that this little thing is it's tougher, and it just it glides. It's messy. It's though but with this one I will show you this one has not as many rupees around 406 But this is a fairly new product as well at the 20,000 loves Ultrafine brow shaping pencil says that class up to 12 hours I agree people are saying amazing long-lasting and easy to apply and blends well, and you don't have to use much I totally agree - my brows are to the gods. I've used many of benefits brow products and by far This is my favorite one.

It's just My brows feel like the gods are slain. I love this how precise it is, and then I love this this is oh whoa Hey, how you doing now? We are getting into the eyes this has been like I got the sample size But I got a full sized. This is the Urban Decay eyeshadow primer potion This is only think I've ever had I've ever tried this has over six thousand reviews and 220 thousand loves It's kind of like one of those products That's been around for some time and it clearly has stayed around for some time people say magical Greaseproof all day every day my favorite makeup, item ever I mean I've tested this out what I do like about it is area has a little bit of pigment color to it It's gonna cover up Sheerly any kind of veins or anything that you got going on there without taking from whatever color you were going to be applying on Top which is what I really really enjoy about it. I would say this is not expensive at all It's $22 not for this size, though This is just sample size $22, and I swear to you this lasts me longer than its shelf life I've tried some other eye primers that are not moisturizing to the eye area, which I feel.

It's like it's your eye area I shouldn't feel like they're like, but this is really nice it starts off kinda like a little moisturizing cream And then it kind of gets tacky, which I really really like for eyeshadows. We are going to be using the huda beauty Desert dusk eyeshadow palette. This is really beautiful Girl, this is this is really beautiful packaging this has over 80,000 loves over 400 reviews this is literally a five-star very nice mirror has 18 different shades for Different extras one dazzle glitter eight creamy matte six shimmery pearl shades and three dual chrome toppers right off the bat I just got like or Brabant nights kind of buy very Arabic I love it the very first comment says just okay. They blend okay I got some passionate the next one is perfect for just a palette I'm glad I added it to my collection so creamy gem this palette is amazing best eyeshadow palette I have ever bought and ever use this retails for $65 which If it's that good then maybe it's worth it we shall see so this one right here I absolutely love, but I did want to mention this is Extremely loose you're gonna need some glue for that or else.

It's gonna fall all over. Ya honey. You're gonna I'm gonna start out with musk which is like a really nice matte color They definitely blend very nice really nice and smooth No fallout I'm gonna fast forward on this, but I'm gonna be using celestial and Nefertiti In terms of fallout if you just tap off the brush a minimal fallout like none whatsoever For the dual chrome ones like celestial I recommend a finger application. Just because it just feels like it applies it a lot nicer Dianna's pigmented, okay, I was not expecting that So far I'm loving it I feel like saying that I love it is a little bit of an understatement like I am obsessed obsessed with the right thing Honestly, they blended like a dream with this palette absolutely amazing.

I love it I would give it a whoop like right off the bat I think it's a fun adventurous palate blend like a dream or super cool colors If you want to go daring bowling wolves sexy a little bit exotic Pick it up for eyeliner I'm gonna be using one that's actually very Like sentimental to me one of my first island as I've ever picked up at Sephora. If not my first liquid eyeliner Well this day I actually still use it because it's amazing good price of all the books like are you kidding or as long lasting? 12-Hour liquid liquid liner I can vouch that it is amazing love the wand I do prefer the old wand that they used to have this is a little bit more of like a sturdy wand but This island has specifically really helped me just learn how to create a really nice perfect liner. This one is like 4.30 I would say over 3,000 reviews and 40,000 love you are saying smooth application and great result they tried many liquid liners This one is smooth come on side the best liquid eyeliner. I love this eyeliner I'm sensin different products and this eyeliner agreed with me from the get-go best of the best for the price You guys see how precisely you could create a cat.

I like it's so good for that I. Have to say my favorite thing about this eyeliner is the way that it dries I think so sexy and I just I love it look at it It starts off really wet but then it just dries like beautiful matte, which I love for mascara I'm gonna try out the Too Faced better than sex. That's much better than let's say like that, but that's mascara It's really nice and sturdy product. I've used this on multiple occasions, and I just find that the curl really like Ba-ba-boom ba-ba theme over 10,000 review of cool.

It's not a 5 290,000 loves when people are saying about it, let's see some people are saying had high hopes absolutely love this mascara adds length fullness But at the end of the day I end up with black smears under my eye. I do use this under your eyeballs it's not that great I. Love the one love the shape of the one hourglass kind of look really gets The lashes from the side and from the other side and then towards the middle it's really simple to just kind of add more All right, so this was literally just like two coats banging up like what a difference That's amazing from what I can remember when I take off this foundation my lashes always feel like longer and stronger They don't feel like brittle. You know that nasty feeling that you get this is the result for the lashes I think they look absolutely amazing very full They don't look like cockroach feet, which is what my fiance likes to say they look spread out thick and beautiful To face this is for lips.

I'm gonna be using the two combinations the lip liner by Kat Von D. And bow and arrow and liquid lipstick by Kat Von D in Oh an arrow I would say together they have around fifty thousand hearts 3000 reviews they both are Almost a five so many different colors so many different shades holding with both of this. There are a long where they're high pigmented They're very very creamy, and they're very beautiful very high pigmentation very like silky smooth and very nice matte finish supposedly They're the bomb calm so we shall see You I love the color So smooth so buttery so mad. Oh my god.

I love it. This is a very rare shade for me like it's a very muted Nude I love it almost reminds. They're like a gray color, but was a little tint of pink, which it's really pretty I'm obsessed with the look of it very pretty looks super nice It's like the eyes and the gold and everything I'm gonna test out the liquid lipstick Amazing amazing amazing amazing I love the color like I want to be nude and girly But I still want to keep it dark and calm You know yeah the very last product to seal the deal is gonna be Urban Decay's all nighter setting spray almost seven thousand reviews 330 loves this is one of those products that you always see around like for ages You've been seeing it but it just kinda like revamps itself so this claims to be a very weightless setting spray that makes your makeup look like you just Applied it and it lasts 16 hours. I want to see how the nozzle is oh it's nice Feels like an ice bath, not crazy about the smell didn't bother me It's just like not amazing in my opinion, but the nozzle like this nice I have very dry skin, so he gave me a Livermore which I really loved Let me know if you guys feel that this has helped your makeup stay on for longer at all so this is a finished look With Sephora's most top-rated make a product you guys Let me know down below in the comments what you thought which was your favorite standout products Which of these are you planning on like trying out next or what are your holy grails at the moment that you're like dang? Why isn't this out there already? I would love to hear what you guys have to say let me know down below in the comments what you think of each of The different makeup products.

Let me know which of these interests of you, which ones like our standout that you're like yes This is what I'm gonna get in my next trip also
Make sure you follow me on Instagram and Twitter and snapchat because I always ask you guys every single week we want for Beauty Busters And I'm excited maybe you'll want to see low-rated Sephora products and have me put into the test If you haven't subscribed make sure you subscribe to the weirdest family on the internet goods to get a thumbs up if you enjoyed I. Hope you have an amazing day. Gold rocket lebreton live weird or die normal. Bye.

Beauty and the Beast Part 1 - Phelous

(Tune of Disney Beauty and the Beast theme, roughly):
Tale as old as...   ...'92   Rehashed as it can be  (Getting progressively more off-key)  Barely a movie   animated most poorly   Quite expectedly  (gives up on singing) Beauty and the Beast. Ruined it. (Theme from reviewed movie):  Now that I'm with him, time has ceased.

 And I can sing, the Beauty and the Beast  Once in a while when something popular comes out you get some cheap cash-ins made to capitalize on that. And that was pretty much the marketing model for Goodtimes Entertainment. It was low-hanging fruit for them when Disney would popularize an old story or fairy tale with one of their animated features So shortly after Disney's theatrical or home video release of one companies like Goodtimes Entertainment would be there to try to either fool you or just make you give in to their cheaper version of the story. In fact, Disney even sued Goodtimes Entertainment at one point over their covers looking too similar to theirs and fooling customers.

This resulted in Goodtimes having to clearly mark their versions of these films. I'm guessing that was only for a time, though as there isn't actually a clear Goodtimes Entertainment marking on the front of this DVD release Maybe actual good times themselves sued Goodtimes Entertainment over their failure to provide such a time No that wasn't a stretch! Goodtimes had a few production companies they usually teamed up with to shovel out these quick cash-ins and in this case It was Golden Films. Who made getting what information I could on this a little extra confusing for me as they produced yet another Beauty and the Beast a couple years later And this one isn't even mentioned on IMDb.
[Ed. Note: It is now.

Thanks Phelous!] Good times are dead now though. Goodtimes Entertainment, too, as they filed for bankruptcy in 2005 only one year after this DVDs release. I'm so lucky! Actually, while Goodtimes have come to an end we can take comfort in the fact that Golden Films are still up and running and have even partnered with Sony for some of their releases. They even have a website with previews, clearly from VHS rips.

<Magical teleporting sound effects> Beauty: Clara! What are you doing here? Phelous: These also often contain random cuts and might even spoil the ending. And speaking of spoiling, let's get on to their 1992, one year after the Disney version, of Beauty and the Beast <generic "enchanting" music> But to prime us first for what we are about to experience we get two little shitters riding the cheap cash-in coaster through the Goodtimes library which leads us to... (Movie theme):  Beauty (Beauty) ... Beauty (Beauty) ...

Phelous: Beauty already dancing with the Beast? <Pff> Yeah, why not! Who the hell cares about building up to that anyway! The movie jumps back after the opening song but this kind of kills a whole lot of that whole storytelling thing, doesn't it? "Hmm, this Beast fellow he seems awful scary, huh?" "Look at what a mediocre dancer he is!" (Spits) All right, so they gave us a little, um... ...BIG teaser, but we're still gonna have to watch the movie to find out if the Beast has a heart of gold or not. (More theme):  He's good to me, to say the very least...  Never mind! You've already seen the Disney version, why are you watching this? So quite a bit of the basics of this film are actually taken from the original story.

But of course they are done in a dinky manner without any real build-up to them Since this film only has a 48 minute runtime. Beauty: Oh, hello sisters, how are you? Skinny sister: Apparently better than you, Beauty. Phelous: Her name is actually just "Beauty"? What unimaginative jackass came up with that? Father: Ooh, this can't be! There... There...

<Gibbers incomprehensibly, on loop quite a few times> Phelous: Heheh, okay, explained. The "Beauty" in Beauty and the Beast is actually this generically name most of the time. Guess crazy old Maurice figured if he named a baby that she'd have to grow into it. Or should I say, crazy old...

"Old Man". 'Cause they never say his name. Or maybe he just tried naming every child he had "Beauty". (Old Man voice): I'll name you Beauty.

Oh. <Gibbers> Never mind, I'll name YOU "Beauty". Oh, dammit! <Gibbers> Third time's the charm. (Normal voice): And, yes, I know "Belle" pretty much means "Beauty" as well But at least it sounds a little better to us in English! Though, she is in France...

So... Yeah, she'd actually be just as generic in her actual town Just like the original story, Beauty/Belle has two sisters and this movie pretty much turned them into the wicked stepsisters from Cinderella. Though I can't imagine why there'd be any sibling complex between Beanpole and Fat Ass when Old Man named the third one "Beauty". She also had three brothers, but this one cut that down to two.

Unless something happened to the third one. (As Old Man): I'll name you Beauty! (As "third son"): Thank you, Father for seeing the beauty insi-- <neck snap, thud> (as Old Man): I didn't realize he was another boy. I only need two of those. Cat: Meow! Phelous (to "Duck Tales" theme):  Derp Cat! Whoo-ooo!  Beanpole: Maybe you'll want to come shopping with us one day, Beauty.

But I forgot. You like to visit the poor section of the city Your clothes are perfect. You fit in with all the beggars who live there. Phelous (as Beauty, very slowly): Wait...

Did they just speak words at me...? I think they did! I wonder what they meant! Wait a second, I think they just insulted me! That's it, It's time for THIS Beauty to become a Beast! Get it? Oh. Wait. I'm not talking still. <Door slams> Why am I standing out in the rain? (Normal voice): Well, we don't have to wonder long where Beauty got that brain that powers those vacant stares from.

Old Man: <gibbers> This can't be! I know these clerks who run our offices in these cities. I hired them all myself! They're, they're <gibbers> very, very good men. Son: They're thieves, father. Old Man: <gibbers> Are you sure? Ooh! They can't be thieves! Phelous (as Old Man): I even asked him if they were thieves and they answered no! We're going to be fine! (As Son): We're broke, Dad! (As Old Man): D'oh! Hmm.

I wonder if I can sell my stupid sons as slaves! (As Other Son): Uhh, you said that one out loud, Dad! (As Old Man): Doh-ho-ho! ... <Trails off into gibberish> ...Shit. (Normal voice): So this again is part of the actual tale, with Beauty's father being a merchant who had boats go missing causing him to lose most of his money. Beauty: I spent the day among the less fortunate bringing them food.

Old Man: I'm afraid it's our own family which will soon be in need of help. Phelous (as Beauty's "thoughts"): Whoooooa... Look at this cake I'm holding... (As Old Man): Oh, dammit! <Spolitch> <sploitch> This forces the Beautys to move to the country where, unsurprisingly her sisters still act like obvious bitch fucks in front of Beauty and she's still too stupid to notice <Tuba "Ba Dum Ba Dum" song, aka the theme from old A&W commercials in Canada> Beauty: And how are you today, missy? Phelous (as cow, barely comprehensible): Get me the hell outta here! You people are killing me! I haven't been fed in a week! Beauty: <laughs> Son: Wait until you hear the good news! One of father's ships we thought lost has docked in the harbor! And it's the largest of our ships! Filled with goods, no doubt! Phelous: Yes, "no doubt".

Even though I said we hired thieves. Plus the boat was hit by a storm. Let's celebrate prematurely! Old Man: We're not rich yet, you know. We don't even know if there's any cargo on that ship.

Phelous (as Old Man): So I really don't know why I was so happy in the previous scene. (Normal voice): Again, like the original tale, the two assy sisters asked for expensive gifts while Beauty only asked for a rose HOWEVER, the two brothers beat her by only asking that they don't blink out of existence (as Old Man): Heheh, no promises. (As Other Son): Oh man! (As Son): Who was that guy? Who am I for that matter? Son: Here is the bill of lading, Father, so you can make sure the ship's captain hasn't cheated us out of any cargo. Phelous (as Son): If he has, you'll have to fight him on your own, Dad.

We're not coming 'cause we're so busy with all the... ...Bye! Old Man: Whoa, horsieeeee! Whooo-hoooa!! Phleous (mocking Old Man): Whoa, don't take off at such a slow pace!! ...Movie! (Normal voice): Seriously, we've got less than 40 minutes left now and the only things we've gotten over are, Beauty and her father are morons the brothers made a wish upon a star to become real boys and the sisters miss walking the streets! Old Man: Oh! I want to inspect the cargo hold. Harbormaster: But... But sir...

Old Man: Harbormaster, I'll not ask you again! Now open the cargo hatch! Harbormaster: As you wish. Phelous: Oh, you will not outdo Old Man with pointlessly announcing actions, Harbormaster. Old Man: I'll light a lamp. Phelous: Thankssssss...

(As Old Man): And now I'll look around with the lamp and be surprised that the ship that took heavy damage in a storm took heavy damage in a storm! Old Man: <gibbers> My spices, they're ruined! These tea leaves are useless. Phelous (as Old Man): Sure, they look perfectly fine in their jars But I'm not selling tea and spices that were in wet boxes. Silk!  I...It's good for nothing now! Phelous (as Old Man): And look at those daughters of mine. They got wet in the rain! They're completely useless now! <Crazy cartoon noises of the daughters being discarded> (normal): For someone who was prematurely celebrating you sure do have a defeatist attitude all of a sudden.

You know something we don't, Old Man?! <More Old Man gibbering on loop> No. Clearly you don't. (As Old Man): At least I'll find comfort with my favorite cow. She'll console me.

(As cow): Get me the hell outta here! Old Man Yells At Cloud: Yes, go ahead and rain, you miserable sky! Phelous (as Old Man): I'm competely useless now. <More discarding cartoon noises> Lightning strikes a tree in front the old coot making his horse send him to... ...The perspective of complete nonsense! Look at this! There's no space in front of them and the trees have to split into two and magically move around them so they don't just crash into them! Is that supposed to scare me?? Yeah, I know it's really stupid to ask if a botched perspective shot is supposed to be scary but I'm gonna do it anyway and keep harping on it. All right, let's move on.

Right into that perspective! Oh no, look at that, now I'M stuck in it! It's so scary 'cause it doesn't make sense! (As Old Man): Phelous hasn't been funny since "Mac & Me". He's completely useless now. <One more set of cartoon sounds for the pile> (normal): How'd he throw me in the trash if he's already in here? Is that supposed to be scary? Shut up! Wait, am I telling myself to shut up? That doesn't make sense-- SHUT UP!! I keep digging this hole! Old Man: A castle in the midst of the forest? My mind must be going, old girl. Horse: (Uh huh) Phelous: I like that the horse agrees he's crazy for seeing the castle yet the horse sees it too, obviously.

Stupid horse, what an idiot! Yeah, I said it! Old Man: (gibbers) Eh... Hello? Eh. HELLOOOOOOO?? I've never heard such silence. Have you girl? <Door creaks open> I got a feeling someone's inviting you in.

Phelous (as Old Man) You wouldn't believe how many times I've been sent to jail because I've seen someone's door creak open and I assumed that was an invitation! Hur hur, hur, I'm an idiot. Old Man: ...Well, you'll rest in a warm stable tonight. Phelous (as Old Man): Or a warm stomach! Either way you'll be warm at least. Old Man: Hellloo? <Gibbers> Is the master of the castle here? Phelous (as Old Man): What's that song I hear playing in here? Be our guest, be our guest, eat all our food, leave us dead, oh well, don't mind if I do! HEE-EEEEEEEEE!!!!! Old Man: I'm a traveler who's lost his way! Phelous (as candle): Bonjour, mon frere, I am Lumiere! And welcome to Castle...

(As Old Man): Ooh, a delicious candle! <Chomp> (as candle, muffled): Sacre fucking bleu. Old Man: <gibbers> It looks like, if I can trust my eyes, which, I'm sure I can... ...I'm expected! Phelous: And they tried to send this guy's counterpart Maurice to the looney bin? At least HE had a candle and a clock invite him in! Seriously though, who the hell sees food prepared and goes 'Well this must be for me, the jackass who just broke in.'? (Old Man voice): HEEE-EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Oh! Well! Well, thank you, kind chair! Phelous: Lock this guy up! That chair doesn't even talk! Yeah, I heard it. Fine, lock me up, too.

Naturally the old coot gorges himself, never thinking it odd no one ever shows up and crashes for the night. (As Old Man): Oh, boy! That was the greatest shit of my life! I don't envy whoever has to go in there and clean that up But I said I had to poop and the door creaked open, so obviously I was invited to let loose in there! Old Man: <gibbers> I must have certainly lost my marbles. Phelous (sarcastic): Nooooo!!! (As Old Man): Okay, I'm ready for my horse back! <Belch> My... My friend...

I'm so sorry.... I'll miss y... Oh, roses! Old Man: Eh, at least I'll be able to bring back a lovely rose. <Sudden wind gust> Angry voice: So this is how you repay all my kindnesses?! Phelous: <laughs hysterically> Why, thank you Beauty and the Beast '92! You've answered one of my longtime questions! I always wondered what it'd look like if a warthog fucked a Goomba, so...

Thank you for that. (As Beast): Ohhhhhhhh, I wish I could close my mouth. Beast: After all I've done for you, opening my home to you, giving you food and lodging. You dare to steal from me?! Phelous: Yeah, I'm pretty sure he does, considering that's all he's done since he got there.

But, oh no, him being a jackass wasn't a problem till it came to your stupid rose bush (as Beast): So! You dare steal from me, winter? I'll destroy you! (As clock): So, the beast is still punching the snow, huh? (As candle): Yep. (As clock): Wanna ago see if the beast two castles down needs any servants? (As candle): Yup. Beast: To steal what I love most in the world. My roses! You'll pay for this with your life! Phelous: Well, I suppose he did kill that flower.

A life for a life. Seems reasonable. I hate to state the obvious but... Disney did it better! Because they updated certain elements like this for their version.

So Maurice trespassing WAS what set the Beast off on him. And the ROSE was directly tied to the beast so he had a good reason to be overly protective of it. Here, it's just like, "you can spit in my face all you want..." "...But don't you dare walk on the grass!" Old Man: <gibbers> See, I took the rose only as a gift for my daughter, Beauty. Beast: A daughter, you say? And named Beauty? Phelous (as Old Man): Oh! It's a really deceptive name.

I only called her that 'cause she stinks and is ugly. (As Beast): Not buying it.
(As Old Man): Oooops.... Beast: I will strike you a bargain. You may go home and ask Beauty if she will die in your place.

Old Man: <groans> I could not think of such a thing. Phelous (as Old Man): ...On an empty stomach! (As Beast): Fine! Here's second course. (As Old Man): Okay, I'll sell out my daughter. HEEE-EEEEEEEEEE!!!! Old Man: I did bring back one gift.

Beauty: Oh! Father, you brought me my rose! Yes. Cherish it my dear. For, it will cost me my life. Phelous: Yeah, don't make her feel guilty for the rest of her life or anything, Old Man.

Oh, wait. This must be part of that. "I'll NEVER trade Beauty's life for mine" strategy. Son: Robert and I could go with you.

Between the three of us, we could overpower the Beast and kill it! Phelous: Oh, stop pretending you're a character that can affect anything in this story. Old Man: Nathan, you would not say that if you saw the Beast. <Gibbers> It is beyond imagination. Phelous (as Nathan): Oh shit! I didn't realize it was beyond imagination!  Okay, you're dead, pops.

Beauty: I packed you something to eat along the way, Father. Old Man: Now I know I've done the right thing by letting him kill me instead of... <Awkward!> Beauty: Instead of who, Father? Phelous (very slowly): Ohhh, noooo! What an accident! This ass might as well have came back with a "Beauty Can Die in My Place" T-shirt for how subtle he is. And if you even want to pretend he was being slightly genuine here I'm glad he was unsure or not if Beauty should go die for him until she brought lunch.

Old Man: Oh, nothing. It's nothing. <Gibbers> Absolutely nothing. Fat Ass: It's Beauty, isn't it! Beauty: <gasps unconvincingly> Phelous: It's...

Rare you see a cartoon be such a shitty actor but, there you go <mocks unconvincing gasp> Beauty: It's a wonderful castle, isn't it? Phelous (as Beauty): I absolutely adore this place where one of us is going to die. <Laughs unstably> <transitions into frustration> Old Man: For me it is a place of great sadness. Phelous (as Beauty, even more stupidly than usual): Why? What happened? (As Old Man): HEEE-EEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Beauty: <gasps sharply> Phelous: Heh, now now, do it right. <Replay of Beauty's unconvincing gasp> Beast: So, you have come.

<Mario jumping sound> <Mario victory sound> Phelous (as Old Man): Let's go! <That gasp again> Beauty: I gladly put myself in my Father's place. Beast: Bravely said, but you seemed not so brave when first I entered this room. Phelous (as Beast): I'm really scary, right? Right? You were scared, right? (As Beauty's "thoughts"): What sound does an apple make? (As Beast): I hate you Old Man: Beast, her heart is pure. And it is for that pure heart I now beg.

Phelous (as Old Man): Look at how serious I am about this begging for her life with my big smile. Beast: Say your good-byes, then. For you shall never see your fair daughter again. <The "ba dum ba dum" song again...

Suddenly I'm thirsty for root beer> Beast: The loss of one so precious as you will be great. In some... Small way this treasure may lessen your family's pain. Phelous (as Old Man): What? I didn't realize I could get THIS MUCH for a daughter.

I got two more you know. And, er, if you're bi, I got two boys as well. Beast: BEGONE BEFORE I STRIKE YOU DEAD! <Melancholy-ish music> Phelous (as Beauty's "thoughts"): There goes the worst father a girl could ever have. (Spoken:) Oh, he's bald now, eww! Phelous: Well, obviously Beauty is distraught now.

Let's set the mood. <Sprightly music!> <Music quickly realizes its mistake, turns downbeat> Beauty: <sobs> <music changes its mind again, decides this is funny> Phelous: Or, play it like it's a wacky scene. Your choice, movie. <Same music repeats> Phelous: No! No! No, this can't be! NOOOOOO!!!!!! <"Oh Phelous 2014" plays through credits> Phelous: Hi guys! Check out my Patreon for early mid-roll free episodes, meaning, no ads will play in the middle, and other perks! By the way, there is a version of this that came with a doll I was some sad I didn't get the doll version of this....

Beauty and the Beast Anime - Phelous

Phelous: Apparently, I haven't talked yet enough about stupid Beauty and the Beast, so, let's take a look at the romance novel version! Wait, whaaat? Song from anime:  The power of love will save the daaaaay   In spite of how he looked, the lady chose to staaaaay  Phelous: So what this ACTUALLY is, is the anime version of Beauty and the Beast. Doesn't this cover just SCREAM "anime"? I know a lot of the time, the cover art doesn't EXACTLY represent what you're about to see, but this is SO far off the mark, it's astounding they ever thought this was a good idea to put this on here! I'm SO GLAD they did, though, because this is HILARIOUS looking at this blue cat-thing handing a girl a flower, in a picture where you're trying to look really close at that castle in the background to see if Fabio's hiding out in! But I can't imagine an image like THIS being particularly appealing to kids. This version of the tale was originally a part of an anime anthology series and was produced by Nippon Animation, who have been involved with a lot of anime, including Miyazaki works. And this is pretty much just as loved as those! ...Even though to date it's only ever gotten this VHS release.

...At least in English. The series this was originally a part of was called "Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics", which is why, rather nonsensically, we have "Grimm's Fairy Tales: Beauty and the Beast" on the cover, when Beauty and the Beast, of course, was not by the Brothers Grimm. This originally aired in '88 over in Japan, and two years later, we got the English adaptation put out by Saban. Speaking of, this tape has that old "Balloon Saban" bumper on it, which was a real nostalgic boot to the head.

This is another cartoon where information is rather spotty, as it has no IMDb entry, and there is no English voice cast list. We do have it noted, though, that the music for the English version was provided by Haim Saban and Shuki Levy. Levy with Saban were responsible for a LOT of music in animated shows in the '80s and '90s, like: Inspector Gadget, The REAL Ghostbusters, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show, and the Ocean dub of Dragon Ball Z, to name just a handful.

Now, luckily for us, this thing wasn't just "Halfway Animated", it's "FULLY Animated"! With Color! For a whole 27 minutes! It's rather sad that the rather short time they list is a flat-out lie. This thing only REALLY runs for about 23 minutes. Maybe there IS four extra minutes if you just sit there watching the BLACK area on the tape, and the mind-blowing little extras on here like the "adjust your tracking" message. Skip to this point for the actual review! Fuck! I can't believe I talked about some of the BACKGROUND surrounding this thing! "Video Treasures"? Pfft! Yeah, more like "Video....." "...Disgusting!" I've given up, haven't I? And these Video Treasures that no one liked would eventually grow up to be Anchor Bay...

Funny enough. So, once again, we get a song for one of these things that just kinda tells us the entire plot. Spoilery Singers:  In spite of how he looked, the lady chose to staaaaay!  Phelous: Fuck! SPOILERS!!! Really though, this entire intro is kinda spoiling us on this whole thing, seeing as it's just scenes from later in the movie... Episode, whatever you wanna call it.

And that Beast does not AT ALL look like a cat! Glad THAT disappointment is outta the way. Spoilery Singers:  Forever happy, Beauty and the Beeeeeeeeast!  Phelous (deadpan): Don't lay TOO much tension on us. Narrator: Once upon a time, there lived a man who had three daughters. [...And that's it, apparently] Phelous: Well, thank you for that, I really feel up to speed now.

And I really like how often Beauty's father just gets the shaft when it comes to a name. Blonde daughter: Buy me a beautiful dress! Something with lots of ruffles around it! Redheaded daughter: And buy me shoes! Be sure to get the latest style! Old Man: They don't deserve it! Get them NOTHING!! Phelous (as Nameless Dad): On second thought, maybe my gift will be the back of my hand! Old Man: TOO FAR, bro! Nameless Dad: Maria, anything for you? Shadow from Sonic Adventure 2: [death grunt] Maria..... Phelous: WOW! MARIA?? You mean she gets a REAL NAME here instead of just "Beauty"?... Or "Beauty" in another language? Amazing! But even though she's got a name, Maria isn't very original, and just asks Old Beard to get her a red rose.

Which MIGHT seem like a humble request, but really, she's just trolling the shit out of her dad by asking for this out of season. Old Beard: I would like a red rose. Florist: Come back when it warms up! Narrator: He was disappointed not to have a gift for Maria, for he feared this might be his last trip into town. Phelous: Why? Because he's lazy! He can't be THAT close to death.

...Unless they aren't telling us something. (As Maria): I've slowly been poisoning you every day, father! (As Old Beard): OHO! She got me! Another one of Maria's classic pranks! Old Beard: This is very strange. It's snowing on one side of the mansion, and on the other, there's green grass and beautiful gardens. Phelous (deadpan again): Truly, this is wondrous-- [snoring] Old Beard: Huh? My goodness, what beautiful roses! Old Man: Ooohh, this is your chance to get Maria back! Get her a PINK rose instead of the RED one that she requested! Phelous (as Asshole Beard): Oh...

Yes. And then I'll SHOVE the rose so far up her ASS, it comes out her mouth, and then burn the house down!! Old Man: Eh..... Maybe I should just stop talking to you... Old Beard: I'm sure no one will mind if I pick one from the clutter.

Beast: I DO mind!!! Phelous: What an unexpected turn of events! Beast: Every rose is valuable to me, and if you refuse to give it back, I will take your life! Phelous: Some Beasts are just a little OVERLY attached to their gardens, aren't they? What does this guy worry about? Half of his stupid flowers are dead anyway thanks to his little snow-show, and once again, this isn't a version that gives any extra meaning to the flowers, other than Beasty-Boy's just a flower-wiener. Old Beard: Isn't there some way we can work this out? Beast: Well, yes. Your daughter, who has such a great desire for my red rose, must consent to be my wife! Phelous (as Old Beard): OOOOHHHH!! ANIMEEEEEE!!!! Anyway, I'll just, uh, go ahead and give you the flower back then. This really isn't worth the hassle.

Maria can get over not having a flower that will wilt in a couple of days. Phelous: Well, that's what he would say if he had SENSE. Here's Beard-ria's ACTUAL response: Beard-ria: Alright! I agree, you can have her hand in marriage! Phelous: Mmmmm..... Get the feeling he just kinda wants her out? Beast: You have eight days to return with your daughter! Phelous (as Beard-ria): This flower won't even LAST those eight days! HEH! I'm finally going to have the last laugh on Maria! I love having no loyalty! Beast: Grrrrr.....

[Awkward silence] Beard-ria: [delayed scream] Phelous (as Beard-ria): Awkward silence?! That's the scariest thing he's done YEEET!!! Narrator: He had no intention of ever going back. Phelous: OOOOHH! What a SWERVE! That actually makes some sense; I mean, it's not like the Beast has his address or anything. Beard-ria: Your turn, Maria. Maria: [gasps] Beard-ria: Go ahead, open it.

Maria: I can't believe it! Phelous (as Beard-hole): That's sure gonna make you... WEEET! UUUUH? Old Man: I'm... Not saying it! I refuse to have any part of this! You're the WORST Beauty's Father EVER! Phelous (as the worst Beauty's Father ever): MARIA!!! Old Man: WHO CARES?!?! [Old Man leaves and closes the door] Redheaded daughter: I've never heard of roses in the winter. It seems to me almost like-- Maria: It's magic! [Giggling]
Redheaded daughter: Yes! Phelous: Wow, thanks for the contribution, Maria's sisters.

You sure are barely characters. But thank you for reaffirming that Maria was just fucking with her father when she asked for that. Narrator: It gave off a radiant light. And in this light, Maria grew more beautiful, too.

Phelous: The flower made her pretty??? Maria: [giggles] [knocking at the door] Daughters: Huh?
Beard-ria: Now who--? Blonde daughter: It's very rude of someone to knock at our door at dinnertime. Phelous (as daughter): We have our eating hours posted very clearly by the door! Beard-ria: Let's not answer it. Maria: Yes, I'm coming! Beard-ria: NO, MARIA! Phelous: I guess the Beast has FLOWER-HOMING powers in this version? And since we have to speed the story up a little for this 20 minute runtime, things escalate rather quickly, and Beard-Dad just beats him with a chair, until he gets choked out! But any man, or thing, that could play such a hilarious prank on her dad like this is marriage material, so Maria says she's all his. Oh, well! At least you'll have that flower to remember her by.

[Daughters gasp] GoodTimes' Beauty: [dull gasp] Phelous: Was it REALLY worth all this? Yeah, sure, why not? Narrator: The Beast whisked Maria off to his mansion. There, she waited in dread of the wedding day that would come to pass. The Beast had picked a beautiful bouquet of roses for Maria. Phelous (as Maria): Nyaaah, now that I know you just have this out-of-season garden, I don't really care about roses anymore.

Maria: I hate them! Phelous (as Beast): What did I do to deserve this treatment? Besides coming over to kill her father because he didn't bring her over to my place to be my sex slave. I'm..... ...Kind of an ass. Narrator: Maria's heart was so full of sadness, that it filled the room, turning the roses to ashes.

Phelous: Well, that's some Carrie shit right there! Ya done fucked up, Beast! Also, I don't really feel like these punishments are very even here. Beard-Bitch picked ONE, and gets CAPITAL PUNISHMENT or enslavement of a family member! Maria mind-kills an entire bouquet, and gets DINNER?!?!? Guess we know this Beast would like Female Ghostbusters! Because ALL that movie is is GENDER POLITICS! Apparently! Beast: Why don't you eat something?
Maria: No... Beast: Well, could you please serve me some dinner? Maria: [crying] No-o-o! Phelous: What in the SHIT, Beast? You can put this ENTIRE feast out on the table, but putting it onto your plate is the emotionally distressed woman's job? (Monotone): What a beeeeeast. Maria: [continues sobbing] Phelous (as Beast): Sooooo, uh.....

No, then? Narrator: The poor Beast was sad. And hungry, too. As his food had turned to ashes because of all of her tears. Phelous: Get the hell OUTTA there!!! RUN, you FOOL!!!!! Narrator: He was startled by his own hideous reflection.

Phelous (as Beast): I always had this different self-image of myself in my head. More "catty" than "stupid blue goblin fuck"! They're NEVER gonna like me on the Internet NOW! Narrator: She realized that the Beast couldn't help the way he looked. Phelous: That's not ENTIRELY true. I mean, he could try NOT dressing in a burlap sack.

Narrator: This realization made her fear of him vanish. And in its place, she felt compassion. Phelous (as narrator): Which was the worst emotion Maria could ever experience, and made the Beast turn to dust. \_()_/ (Normal): Now, it's time for the Beast's NEW PLAN!! Bringing her ROSES!!! Beast: Maria...
Maria: What?! Beast: Come with me.
Maria: Where are you taking me?? Let me gooo! Phelous: Well, I'm sure the THIRD time will be the charm! Either that, or she'll set the house on fire!! Beast: Ready?.....

Now! [Sparkling]  [instruments playing]  Huh? Hur AH! Heh ha HA ha! Phelous: It's nice to finally see the Beast in high spirits. As in "he's wasted". Maria: Ohh, pretty! Beast: Ah, thank you! Ha ha ha ha! Phelous: I'd be pretty happy too, if I had a sweet reverse-colored key piano like that! No I wouldn't! I don't want THAT!! Narrator: Maria felt so much happiness, that she forgot all about the Beast's repulsive looks. Phelous: That's right.

If you aren't the best-looking, all you have to do is conduct a magic orchestra to get someone to like you. They'll even forgive attempted parent murder! Narrator: He quietly left Maria to enjoy the music and went off to attend to his chores. Phelous (as Beast): [loud grunting] [window opens] Maria: Awww! They like you! Beast: Say hello to Maria! Ha ha ha! Phelous (as Maria): [screaming]
[bloody splats] (normal): Why are you stupid animals on the winter side of the house? Some movie clip: Whoa! OH NOOOOOO!!! Narrator: It was in that moment of laughter that Maria and the Beast became good friends. Phelous: Also, this apparently just ENDED the winter side of the house.

Maria: But it must be very difficult to eat with that hood covering your face all the time. Phelous (as Maria): Did you ever think of NOT dressing like an oversized Jawa? (As Beast): Aw, MAAAN!  [Silly wah-wah music]  Narrator: He had not eaten in days, for Maria's tears had ruined each meal. Phelous: That's weird. Her tears are the secret ingredient in mine! Narrator: She wanted him to be happy just as he was.

For his spirit was more important than his appearance. Phelous: Which is why Maria immediately made him a shirt to improve his stupid appearance. Beast: [sneezes] Maria: Uh-oh! Oh dear! Phelous (as Maria): Now you're gonna have to kill yourself! Maria: [laughing] Narrator: They made a strange-looking couple. Phelous: Especially because Maria looks like she's only fourteen! Which probably ACTUALLY means she's only, like, eight, given how anime characters usually look older than they're supposed to be! Narrator: Later that evening, Maria had a disturbing dream.

[Beard-Dad screaming] Phelous (as narrator): That wasn't it. (As Seor Moustache): Maria, Maria, Maria! I'm your real father! (As Maria): No! NO!!! Not Seor Moustache! He's not nearly as popular as Old Man!! Maria: I'm terribly worried about my father. I was wondering if there was some way I could go see him. Phelous (as Beast): Yeah, a magic mirror.

(As Maria): Can't we just go over to their place? I mean, you've already done that yourself in this one. (As Beast): No, because..... I don't knooow. Beard-Dad: Ugh...

Maria..... Shadow: [same death grunt from earlier] Maria..... Maria: [gasp] Oh, please, I have to go home right away! Narrator: The Beast wanted to let Maria go see her father, but he knew he could lose her. Phelous (as narrator): After all, there are plenty of Jawas in the Dune Sea of Tatooine.

Narrator: And now the time had come for him to say goodbye. Phelous: Jeez! No point in trying to fight for your life with the narrator, Sir Assing of Hole, around! Redheaded daughter: Father, Maria's here! Phelous (as Beard-Dad): Oh! With Maria here, I think I'll pull through! (As Maria): Really? (As Beard-Bitch): No. I win the final prank! [Gack!] Blonde daughter (with no real emotion): I think he's gone. Phelous (as bland blonde daughter): I just wasn't really that attached.

Maria: Father! Wake up!  [Wah-WAH-wah! WAHH... Wah!]  Phelous: Aaa-mazing! It's like Dingo made this themselves. Narrator: Maria decorated his grave with the lovely red roses she had brought. Phelous (as narrator): The very things that, in the end, had cost him having his daughter with him in his final days.

Maria knew that even though her father was no longer here, that somewhere, he knew that she had gotten the final laugh. Maria: [dissonant laughter] Redheaded daughter: They've been here nine days. [Nuns from Dingo's Hunchback movie screaming] Phelous: Maria ended up having too much fun with her father's grave, though, and lost track of time, and of course, the old Beast Loneliness Meter had been draining! Maria: [sobbing] You have to get up! Oh, please be alright! Can you hear me? Get u-u-up! [Sobbing]  [cheery credits music]  Phelous: OOOOOLD! Maria: If only I knew a magic spell! Phelous (as Maria): Oh yeah! I DO know ONE! [Sparkling]  [wah-WAH-wah! WAHH... Wah!]  Narrator: But she did have a power: the power of love.

Phelous (doing a Huey Lewis impersonation):  That's the power of looooove!!  Maria: What is it? [Ex-Beast makes an Ewok noise that's hard to transcribe] Ex-Beast: You've come back! Phelous (as Ex-Beast): Now our relationship isn't bestiality, but just good old, plain pedophilia! Maria: I don't under--
Ex-Beast: A spell had turned me into a beast. Phelous: Just a ROGUE SPELL, I guess. Just seems to HAPPEN around here, so don't look for any MEANING behind it. Narrator: And life returned everywhere.

Even live musicians began to play. Phelous: Well, that's fucking creepy! Are those just like soulless husks that were created to play their romantic drivel? Or were they sucked away from their lives for this?? Narrator: Hundreds of red roses bloomed anew, as the air was filled with happiness. Phelous (as Maria): Everything's great! But I sure wish my father was here to see this. JUST KIDDING!!! Ex-Beast: Now, little friends, you'll be witnesses.

Phelous: BIRD witnesses?!?! Pfft! That'll never hold up! Judge from Dingo's Hunchback: How wrong you are! This goat has verified everything! Their marriage is legally binding! Phelous: STUPID MIDDLE AGES!! AND THEY DIIIIIED..... Or were married, same difference. I do like how this version just kinda glances over a lot of plot points, because it doesn't really have time for a lot. Even still, though, they could've made better use of their shorter runtime in spots.

Dead dad? OH WELL!!!!! :D. Also, fuck my sisters, they can't witness shit like a BIRD!! I imagine this marriage went well for a good three days, until Maria got upset over Wiener Boy not being able to choke out family members like he could as a Beast, and then turned the whole place into dust. But in the end, I think we can all see the Beauty... In the Dust.

[Dust whooshes] [coughing] End it! End it!  [Dramatic orchestral music in the style of Spectre]   [soft piano]   I don't like this movie   He doesn't seem too friendly   These monsters seem so fake   My nerves, they're gonna bre-eak   Phelous, don't let me down     You need to be a-round     Grab that running 1-up   and blast that scene a new one   [song ends]  Old Man: Hey! Beard Father! I win! HEEEEEE-- [coughing].